My 2013 Testimony

When I arrived here in the U.S six months ago, I admit to chase the American dream. Everything was planned ahead of me. Part of it was to get a temporary job (until I pass my Nursing Licensure) before the year ends, of course to help pay the bills, save, buy what I need and want and to give more to God. As months went by, job hunting seemed tougher and tougher. I am searching for health related jobs, but it is so frustrating because of the requirements. Even a clerical work needs a certification. I mean, really?!?!

What I didn't realize though was God was trying to reveal something to me. I came to my senses, checked my heart's motives, its deepest desires. Then it boiled down to one question: Why did God send me here anyway? Looking back, many years ago, I was praying through that me and my husband's long distance love affair will end. You know our story. Aside from that, I remembered asking Him for a spiritual family once I arrive here. And relationships! I prayed for deeper relationships with my family and friends. That's when I realized that seeking job urgently and my eagerness to pass the NCLEX are products of my worldly heart. A lot of my former students were board passers already and have started their career here in the U.S. While me, their teacher is back to zero. It's the same thing with my friends who went to Australia and other parts of the world. They are now established. I am happy and so proud of them, really! But deep within my heart, I couldn't hide my envy and pride. It was itty bitty, but the sad fact is, it is there. In the Philippines, I am already established. I worked as a college instructor at a reputable university. I have a Master's Degree. My thesis was published as a book in Germany. I can also buy my own house and car if I want to. It would also be a lot easier for me to pursue my Fashion Designing career. I could have opened my clothing line. Surely, I can do anything with God's help. It's been my word since elementary. I was on my way up to my fortress, then suddenly I stumbled all the way down. 

Then I read this verse and it pierced my heart. 
Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. 
                                                                                           James 4:8 NLT

I realized that my three main prayers were answered, and God is giving me more than I could ever imagine. I am now with my husband and never again will we experience those heartaches of being away from each other. Then He gave me a spiritual family. In a short span of time that I was here, He blessed me with beautiful, humble people. These people whom I can pour my heart out without being judged. In fact, they console me with prayers and nothing is more comforting than friends praying for you. 

I told Bryan a few weeks ago how I summarized my 2013. I've always believed that this country is a greener pasture, thus, the American Dream. But God revealed another side of the U.S to me. I saw a lot of moms who decided to stay at home to tend for their families and set aside their careers. I saw some families who never owned a car and ride the bus every single day. I saw moms who homeschool their kids. And I saw dads too who stay at home with their kids while the moms work. The common denominator for them? JOY and CONTENTMENT! Seeing these people is a breath of fresh air. I admire them to bits. I am deeply overwhelmed how God could use them to reveal Himself. He's like saying: "Don't rush, darling. I want you to just feel my love. Embrace it! You don't have to prove anything to the world because my love for you is more than enough, more than you could ever imagine. Find me anywhere and your heart will be contented. 
For the past years, my life was fast paced. I didn't have much time to enjoy my alone time. I always had reasons to be busy. Then last year, it slowed down. I suddenly had all the time to make up for the lost ones with Bryan. I have my alone time too. I have time to chat with my family. I have time to cook for Bryan and my in-laws. I clean the house. I read books. I have time to blog! I have plenty of time with God. At the end of the day, I am fulfilled! 

and as for my dreams? 

For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11


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