Melancholy me

My mom-in-law went home from the U.S for a 2-week vacation and seeing her makes me miss my husband even more, like a piece of Bryan has gone home and the feeling is quite overwhelming. I haven't mentioned this before, but one of my coping mechanisms to not miss my husband so much is distraction, that's why I accepted my 6 days a week job for 2 consecutive semesters now. 

Last week was the Monthly Exams of our students, which means I have a day off or two. I spent Friday and Saturday (which rarely happens) relaxing at home and indulged myself to my first love--reading novels. Then there goes that queasy feeling again and the sad truth that I'm alone, away from him. After reading a good book, I always feel energized and my love tank is full again, but it pains and frustrates me even more because the only thing that I can do is to see and talk to my husband on Skype. I am sad that we cannot embrace, kiss, hold hands and share all the love and that I have to wait for at least 6 months before I get to see him again, and that's only for 2 or 3 weeks. It pains me that we are not together to celebrate the important events of our lives like our wedding anniversary, my birthday, his birthday, Christmas, New Year.  People say Bryan and I are so lucky to have each other and it seems like we're pulling off everything smoothly, but here comes the bitter fact that we are not together and we have to wait until my papers are okay. It annoys me when people tell us what we need to do, like "Oh, you should have chosen the fiance visa" (we're married for 2 years but they still suggest it) or "You should conceive already! You're not getting any younger."  

Our situation is only temporary, I know, but when I think about it, a lump always forms in my throat and tears start dripping from nowhere. I am heartbroken. I miss Bryan so much. It feels odd because for the past days, I always find myself sob when I'm alone and it's not even my red days. Two days from now, my mom-in-law will go back to the U.S, and it breaks my heart more because I don't like to see people leave. It makes me anxious and forlorn. The last time Bryan went home was December last year. On his departure, I didn't tend him to the airport. I chose to stay home and distract myself to divert that morose feeling. I reminded myself not to cry, but then, our aunt/godmother joked about Bryan leaving me. I couldn't contain myself anymore and broke out in tears while my mom-in-law gave me a soothing hug, like an assurance that everything will go well. Our situation has been like this since 2005. Yes, it's been 7 years, but I am not still used to it, and I will never get used to it. I'm just praying so hard and hoping that 2012 will be our year. I will be more than happy to shed those hot, painful tears away.

Allow me to share some of my favorite photos of us since 2010.
Last year on my graduation when I earned my Master's degree.
Our wedding in 2010
Our quirky post-nuptial pictorial last year. I love taking photos because these are the only tangible things that will remain for years.
A memory of our 60's themed photo shoot in 2010. 

Ethel

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34 comments

  1. aaaw. hang in there andre! Let's just keep on praying. *huuuuuug* I kinda feel you, I feel soooo homesick all the time now, and making yourself distracted somehow helps, but the feeling is still there. Being away from your loved ones is really, really hard. :(

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    1. Thank you Tami! Looks like I have to message you right away whenever I feel depress. You're right, distraction helps but the feeling is still there. :(

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  2. I can relate to you. We only see each other every week. The good thing, I have my girlfriends to cheer me up.

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  3. Pangga!!! Sorry i wasn' t there to comfort you.. Sana kahit konting smile maibigay ko. . Don't be too sad. Many people believe in your fairy tale... I know ou two can make it because you really love each other dearly. Just keep the faith and always pray. :-) d pa naman cgro midlife crisis ito diba??? Hehehe! Smile! Mwuah! Miss you! :-)

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    1. I'm smiling now, pangga, as I read this. Thank you!! Noooo!!! Hindi midlife crisis. Nasa 20's pa lang kame no.hehe :) Miss you!

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  4. Don't worry everything has a purpose and in time you will be reunited. I actually can't imagine myself living without my husband by my side. But it seems you are such a strong woman so I think you can make it through. Just trust God.

    Mommy Maye

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    1. Thank you, Mommy Maye! It warms my heart to receive such comment from strangers. We're on our way there. I know it!

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  5. what lovely photos. :)
    i don't know how you feel when your husband is away from you, but i know how hard it is not to see your husband even for a day!
    hang in there, you'll be with him soon.

    Zoie's Mom

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    1. Thank you, Bonz! In good faith, we'll be together soon.

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  6. you are so beautiful in your post and pre picture I am sure that he also misses you alot than you are

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  7. pretty pictures:) in God's time, you will be together forever.

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  8. Oh..that was so sad. But I'm sure you'll get by. Just find something to entertain you and do things which interest you most. You're right, distraction is the key. Make yourself busy all the time. Hugs!

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  9. Uy I love your wedding photos ha :)

    My husband is away right now looking for job in Jeddah. I feel the pain of being separated with your partner. My daughters are making me busy for the mean time. Let's be thankful for technology. Pano kung walang Skype, FB and WhatsApp (this is what we're using everyday - exchanging messages, photos and voice notes). But like other said "you will be together... again" :)

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  10. You guys made it this long. I'm sure "chicken na chicken" nalang ang few more years. Hold on to your love. You will get through. :)

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  11. Very pretty pictures!Hoping the best for both of you and your husband.


    Brylupet

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  12. Truly amazing pictures. Reminds me 3 years ago when I got married and having some pre-nuptial pictorials too. Indeed it was memorable. You both looks so perfect couple. Nice.

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  13. Wow. 7 years in LDR? I salute the both of you. LDRs have a special place in my heart. I can live with it, as long as my partner assures me that it would only be temporary and he would still show me that he loves me and is afraid of losing me. Mine didn't work out though. But I am still a believer. It wasn't the distance that broke us apart. :( *hugs, sis.

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  14. I also experienced a long distance relationship. It was hard at first but I got used to it too and just thought that eventually we will be together again. :D

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  15. Your pictures are beautiful!
    This was our case during the early parts of our marriage, until I was able to get my wife and son to live with me here in Abu Dhabi. Now we are happily living together. I am sure your time will come also, so just keep on hangin' there. Keep your love burning through constant commnunication. I wish you and your husband the best in life and happiness always.

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  16. As the song goes "love is very patient, very kind".... you are just giving more meaning to the song. Just keep your line with your husband busy, a'right? :) Cheers!

    http://etc.soundsfunny.ws

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  17. Just keep on holding on. Like what you said, maybe 2012 will be your year. It is really sad to see someone leaving. Cheer up and someday everything will be okay.

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  18. great pictures you have there....just hang in there. patience is indeed a virtue.

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  19. I almost teared up when reading this. I can feel your pain through your words. :( My Mom always tells me that chances, circumstances and opportunities all have it's proper time. I know "gasgas na linya" na sya. But I'm sure your time will come. I hope it's this year! Hang in there! :)

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  20. oh i can remember being away from my hubby for only few days and i can't take it...i hope you're fine now ...before you know it you'll be in each others arms:) BTW..thanks for sharing your beautiful photos:)

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  21. great pictures, all i felt is love love and love!

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  22. Awww. Love the photos... Lalo na yung last one... Sana nga 2012 is your year.

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  23. Beautiful photos you got here,, its really saddening that couples should stay away to each for their future.,. it really saddens me .. I really hope the time will come really soon that both of you will be in each others arm and stay with each other forever...

    Be strong..

    EDS

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  24. lovely photos... i love the wedding photos the most... :-)

    hugs.... u 2 will get rewarded in the end... :-) just hang in there... :-)

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  25. Nice, you have post nuptial photos. I'm sure you can survive the LDR, because I did -- for 9 years! :D

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  26. Awww...I know the feeling. But take heart, it won't always be like that. Someday, you don't have to be apart anymore.

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  27. Perfect couple... Pre-nuptial pictorial is exciting...

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  28. Lovely photos. Love conquers all even distance :) have faith and TRUST :) BTW ^^. I would love you to visit my blog “ miss JHENZ “http://ow.ly/cUC9T Have a great week ahead!

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  29. hang on lang.. i was once there and it was very difficult but it made me appreciate him so much more and made me realize that I am not meant for LDR's

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