I realized that I am so uptight for the past weeks because of one goal I still cannot fulfill. You see, my goals are neatly written in a small notebook, and everyday, I make sure to do something to achieve those goals. One of my goals this year is to start a clothing line, that's why I took up courses at the Fashion Institute of the Philippines. It was a breeze start--I was able to enroll 3 courses (Basic Fashion Design, Basic Pattern Making and Basic Sewing), and even bought a portable sewing machine, courtesy of my generous husband. But those aren't enough because I need to continue the advance courses, which I'm dying to go to. Unfortunately, I can't because I have a day job 6 times a week. Oh don't get me wrong. It was my choice to work six times a week (the reason's here), and I like what I'm doing. I just thought I could juggle things up and still continue with my passion for fashion, that sky's the only limit. But I can't!
Right now, I still have my sewing classes and need to finish 6 projects. I am only done with one project and my course will expire next month.
|My first skirt. Click here for the story.|
I am only available to attend my Sewing classes every Saturday afternoon. My mind wants to go, but my body can't. It's too tired, it's begging to rest. So what do I do? I go home straight after work and doze, missing another opportunity to create a skirt, a blouse or a dress, and I feel frustrated because I can't keep up with my timetable.
My ego tells me not to rush, because I will get there soon, but my id tells me I should. I don't know, but a part of me believes I have to do what I have to do while I am still here in the Philippines; another insignificant reason is because I am turning 28 this year, thus carpe diem. I feel old. Jeez!
But then I realize, I need a breather. I have to take things slowly. If I rush things up, then I may miss some lovely details on the process because I am just too preoccupied with the result. I may not be able to fulfill this dream this year, but I'm on my way there, one step at a time. If I fail in this goal, I will bounce back soon. So yes, I feel better now. No more pressure!